Good Intentions, pt 8
A Note by Samantha Knies Gray
I received A LOT of mixed reviews from this month's newsletter blurb. I had people reach out with 'thank you for always being so candid!'. I had some reach out and tell me that I sounded disjointed, depressing, not myself. I had one person reach out and tell me that I should try being grateful for what I have because others have it so much worse. I had another reach out to tell me that it was very disappointing to hear a yogi -- who should be spreading light and joy -- talk about being depressed and anxious. I'm going to go ahead and share the post here anyways, because: unbeknownst to me when I wrote the post, September is Suicide Prevention Month. As a business owner, as a woman, as a mother, as someone who has struggled and still struggles sometimes, and yes, as a yogi -- especially as a yogi -- it would be a disservice to be fake, to spread only light and joy, and to never come face to face with my own struggles. Yoga is a tool, but it is not a cure. If you are struggling, too, be candid. Be real. Let the people around you know. Let me know. You are not alone 💕
I struggled with this month’s newsletter a bit.
Nothing of great significance has happened recently; I actually spent the last part of July and the better part of August pretty sick following a nasty skin infection from a fall. I had a round of real bad luck that dampened the end of our summer vacation, and put me in a tailspin of anxiety, depression, full-on panic attacks, and a relapse of symptoms from a chronic condition I’ve managed so well for months.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what’s truly important in my life — the external factors, the where-I-spend-my-time type of things like relationships, hobbies, work, distractions and the internal factors like diet, mindset, anxiety, and my genetic pre-disposition to deep depression.
The one notable thing that I have taken away from these past 9 months of intentional living is that it does not serve me or anyone else in my life well for me to work as much as I have in the past. My downtime to be present for my family (especially those two little GrayGirls), to rest, to cook nourishing foods, to work on my own practice, to ground myself in nature, and to have fun is precious and has a direct impact on everyone else in my life, too (including you, dear students) . I intend to take more of it, trusting my intuition to guide me as I move forward through the rest of the year.
Later this month, we’ll head into a new season with the arrival of the autumnal equinox. As with all seasonal changes, there is a natural tendency to pause during this time of transition; to reflect upon what aspects of our lives may be out of balance and how we can bring ourselves into better balance, mentally/physically/emotionally.
As we enter this new season, take the time to review your last month, season, year. Let go, surrender, release. Use this time to exhale and leave behind what is no longer working for you as you enter autumn.
Remember to stay grounded, to trust in yourself, and to live with intention.